Nonsense
My posts nowadays are more random, unorganized thoughts than actual blog entries. When I sit down to type it's like my brain just kind of explodes all over the blank blogger template. Being so busy all the time I almost feel like I have attention deficit disorder. Maybe I do... hey, bring on the Ritalin!
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This morning has been especially crazy. D is still working 6 days a week and it sucks. He doesn't have to, but I think he feels an obligation as his boss's only employee to help when he knows his boss is working. His boss works like 355 days out of the year, 10 or 12 hours each day. It's incredible. He can't sit still. (Speaking of ADD!) This morning I woke up a bit after 6 to shower before E woke up, then I fixed him breakfast and I've been madly dashing around the house ever since. We wanted to get Bogart's shots today, and when I got to the clinic I realized that I didn't have enough cash on me to cover the cost. Ethan demanded that I release him from my mommy death grip and flailed mercilessly as he tried to escape from his seat on my hip. "No. I need to hold you" I told him, which of course made him fight even harder. Take that with trying to keep my yippy, shit-talking dog under control and naturally you get the recipe for disaster. And one stressed out mama. I called Drew to tell him what was up, that I was going home, and he arranged for our babysitter to come stay with Ethan for half an hour while I took Bogart back to the vet. I feel like the worst mom ever. Like, get a grip and suck it up, you know? Also: it's that time of the month. Also: my car is in the shop to have the a/c looked at, and of course (OF COURSE!) the diagnostic computers are suddenly down today, so they have to keep it till Monday or later. Fuck. I love my family, love my job, love my friends... love my life, basically. But it's all those little things, life's little splinters, that make me crazy. And when I get like 5 or 6 splinters in one hand at the same time, well... ouch.
OK! I'm done whining! My car will be fixed and B has his shots and I'll switch to super absorbant tampons or whatever. Everything will be fine. That's my problem though. I totally get frazzled and hyper, not unlike my least favorite dog the poodle, when I have a million things on my plate. I have trouble seeing the bigger picture sometimes and I tend to overreact and freak out instead of taking things in stride. I honestly have a doctor appointment in 2 weeks to see about getting back on Wellbutrin for anxiety. I don't even like taking an Advil for a headache, but I really think a little something-something would help me relax and keep Drew from filing for divorce before we reach our 2-year anniversary.
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I just put E down for a nap. Tonight we're grilling burgers and watching movies. D will drink Corona Extra and I will drink Merlot. I think it will be a nice, relaxing night and I'm really looking forward to it.
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Drew just texted me saying that he just shot a nail straight through his finger. SEE WHAT I MEAN? When it rains it pours, man. MUST FIND UMBRELLA.
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I've been consistently kicking ass with my workouts. I'm really, REALLY proud of myself! I know lots of women who would've used going back to work, having a small child, a house to keep up with, etc. etc. etc. as excuses to slack on the exercise front, but I really crave working out after work. Exercising in the evenings is really working for me. (At least SOMETHING is going right.) (Pity party much?) I have relaxed my diet a bit, and I find that working out hard and consistently (especially lifting weights), lets me get away with more "cheating" food-wise. I think I'm still losing (very slowly), but I love that I can EAT and still look good. When I eat more and lift, I really notice my muscles filling out and I feel strong and much more energetic. My whole life it's been all or nothing, grilled chicken or a vat of crisco, lettuce and cottage cheese or an entire cheesecake. Now I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle, and it's a very nice place to be even if it means that the extra junk in my trunk sticks around a bit longer. (I put on a denim skirt from last summer today, and it is huge! It's stretchy material, so still wearable, but the only thing keeping it up is the jiggle in my wiggle. Can we say BOO-TAY!?) Anyway, things are good where body-image, food and exercise are concerned.
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Something is wrong with our digital camera. I think it needs a new battery. And that is why, my friends, there are no new pics up. How you can go another minute without laying your eyes on the cuteness that is my now 15-month old baby boy, I just don't know. But I'll do my best to ensure that you get your fix asap. (He's cute, yes... illegally so. But I'm starting to feel like I'm out of my league here with some of the shit he's been pulling lately. He's in daycare all week and learns all sorts of new tricks, and then on Saturday when it's just the two of us he puts on his magic hat and outdoes me in every category imaginable.) I think my 1-year old is smarter than me.
posted by Sara @ 10:37 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
You know, it's all the little stuff that seems to derail me too. I can handle big, BIG dramas, but let a whole heap of piffling problems happen all at once and suddenly I'm bursting into tears in the middle of the supermarket because those bastards moved the mustard from where it usually is and I can't find it.
Seriously - that actually happened to me once. I felt like a complete dick, of course. Add pregnancy or PMS hormones and I'm a total nutcase. And they let me have CHILDREN?
Just breathe deeply and relax your shoulders....then have a big glug of that nice merlot. You'll be fine.
You'd be surprised what they DO learn in daycare. My mum is 'on the inside'. When Jasmine went to daycare she got herself a job there too. Anyway, I learned that it's all gone PC. I learned this when I was trying to hold Jasmine back from following Grandma out the door and she looked at me and, I swear, said 'space'. Later I said to mum, ' I think Jasmine says 'space' when she's annoyed' and mum said 'oh, she's just telling you to respect her personal space, like we learn in daycare'. We don't say 'don't hit', we say 'we respect each others space'. Obviously it's nothing like when I was at kindy and learned such gems as 'if you hit someone then you get spanked yourself'.... more often put like this 'hit them and I will hit you!' Nowdays that would be illegal... literally. NZ has an anti-smacking law. It's illegal to spank.
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