Sunday

D left this morning to fly to Washington D.C. for a few days for a research group, so I'm left doing the single-parenting schtick until Wendesday morning. So far so good, but it's only been a few hours. There's a chance that I'll be flying to Florida for a week in the next couple of months for my job, so I guess I can suck it up knowing he'll have to do it then. Currently his majesty is napping, but earlier he threw every toy he owns across the living room floor, had a massive number two diaper that burned my eyelashes, dropped his peanut butter and jelly sandwich piece by piece from his highchair with smug disapproval, wiped his runny nose on every inch of my clothing, sat patiently in his stroller while we went for a mile-long walk, spent 5 straight minutes asking to go outside again, ("outside, outside, outside, outside, outside..."), crushed goldfish crackers into the living room rug and threw a fit when I tried to fold a massive pile of laundry. The last few days Ethan has taken to hitting me. He'll slam his sippy cup full of juice into my face, slap me with his chubby little paw, sometimes even pimp slap me when we're out in public. At first this really caught me by surprise. He could tell it bothered me, so of course he kept doing it. Now when he decides that mama needs a little slapping around I immediately grab his arms, look him in the eye and say very firmly, "No. No hitting. That hurts mommy" and then he tries not to smile and does it again. I do the NO thing a couple of times and then I try to distract him with a song or a bottle of windex. I didn't think a 1-year old could count to ten (surprise!) and I also didn't think a 1-year old would hit his mother and enjoy it. I guess we need to start thinking about discipline a bit more, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I don't wanna! I don't wanna have to deal with that shit. We don't want to spank, we don't want to count to 3, we don't want to threaten with belts or spoons or whatever else people use to swat their kids with... we just want Ethan to be good. So. Maybe we'll just let him do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Yes. Sounds good to me! (I'm totally signing up to be on Super Nanny.)