All I Did Was Blink...

Let me tell you about this little guy I know named Ethan. He used to be a baby. He used to be a little wrinkly blob of nothing but poop and spit up and screams and cries and gassy smiles. Did I mention the screaming and the crying? And the screams? And the cries? SCREAMING and CRYING. But now? NOW? He's like this little man. An actual person, one with opinions and a sense of humor and a love affair with SpongeBob SquarePants.

Ethan is walking. He's walking everywhere! He still looks like something out of a horror movie as he wobbles stiffly across the living room floor or down the hall to take a bath, but he's walking just the same. He can say eyes and head and hi and hey and hello. He can say I see you and peekaboo and patty cake. He can! He says more and alllllllll done and splash and bottle and yogurt and baby. He knows the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song and encourages us to sing it repeatedly, over and over and over again, until our heads explode. If we're having a particularly difficult diaper change or a post-bath wrestling match, all I have to do is start with Ooooooh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? and he will stop the madness and enthusiastically chime in SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Who knew that a freaking cartoon sponge would be the answer to all our parental distress? Works like a charm EVERY.DAMN.TIME.

I'm honestly ready as ready can be for him to begin daycare next week. I've spent so many weeks mentally preparing to make the switch to working mom, and at this point I do not think I could be any more prepared. I don't think I'm going to cry when I drop him off, which I feel strangely guilty about. We're doing two half days on Tuesday and Wednesday, and I'm planning to start work full time on Thursday. I know E will love it. Because hey! Look! There are other Frankenstein babies toddling around! And blocks to fight over! And crayons to eat! I considered telling his daycare teacher that if Ethan ever throws a fit to just sing the SpongeBob song, but then he'll probably expect everyone to sing that to him for the rest of his life anytime he expresses even mild displeasure about anything, and I do not think his future wife would appreciate that. I don't know though. Maybe some chicks are into that.