2 Days Down!

My oh my, so much has changed within the last week. Ethan looooooooooooooooooooooooooves daycare. I mean he loves loves loves it. Every morning he happily lurches from my arms into his very pregnant teacher's arms, and it breaks my heart but makes me feel great at the same time. It's awesome that he's in good care, but I miss him, ya know? Very pregnant teacher tells me that Ethan is "her baby", that he's soooo good and such an excellent talker. I'm sure they tell ALL the parents that, but I'll pretend like Ethan is a perfect genius angel baby. I'm glad they're happy to have him.

Drew has been amazing in helping out around the house, feeding Ethan dinner and giving him his bath. When I get home I am exhausted. I'm up at 5 a.m., ready by 6, then I get E breakfast, fix myself breakfast and chug a cup of coffee. We're out the door by 6:40 and I'm at work by 7:30. I've been leaving the office at 4:30 and getting home around 5 or so. Not too shabby! It's really worked out well and I'm glad that I don't have to worry anymore. We've set a doable routine that everyone has adjusted to surprisingly well. I actually think E is a little depressed to NOT be in daycare today. We went grocery shopping this afternoon and ran into his teacher, and when she walked up to him in the cart he squealed with delight and reached out his arms for her to hold him. I don't think I could ask for much more.

My job is fantastic. The company allows for a lengthy and smooth transition period, and though there's a lot to learn I am confident that I'll get it all down and do a fantastic job. It's such a great group of people. I still can't believe I got so lucky!

As far as food goes, I've let the calorie Nazi go. I was getting to a place before I started working that was looking a little grim. Obsessing, constantly calculating, not able to eat a meal without a calculator and pad of paper nearby. Not that there's anything really wrong with that, but as an ex-anorexic it can start to be a slippy slope of unhealthy control issues and stress. That's where I was headed. Now I'm still eating my healthy meals and snacks, but it's more about Oh, I'm hungry, let's eat! now than OMG it's meal time gotta measure out my three ounces of chicken and tablespoon of dressing and do three cartwheels and click my heels eight times. It's freeing, actually. It feels good. I had a glass of red wine (Bu-bye no drinking rule! See you in a few months!) last night, I ate a tiny bowl of light ice cream the night before, and I had a cookie from Subway today after lunch and didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt. Eating a tasty treat every day or so means that I don't have to have those hog wild out of control days where I decide that I urgently need to consume an entire half gallon of ice cream or 24 cookies because I've been so strict all week. I'm taking it as it comes, keeping my workouts intense and plentiful, and honestly I'm feeling fabulous. I still want to shed about 10 more pounds, but I'll go by the way my clothes fit, how I feel and an occasional weigh-in to determine if I need to cut back on portions or bump up my exercise. I am sure that I can reach my goal this way, it'll just take a little longer, and that is more than ok with me. Dieting might have been my hobby while I was at home. Something to do, something to plan, something to tweak. Now I feel like I'm actually eating to live, not just to fit into a smaller pant size, not counting down the hours between bland mini-meals, but genuinely enjoying my food. This has been a week of tremendous change, all for the better.