Bite Three Times...

I am down to feeding Ethan 3-4 times per 24-hour period. He's slowly getting away from nursing at night, and this week I'm making an effort to get him off of his midnight snack completely. Next to go will be the mid-day feeding, then the evening and early morning sessions, respectively. Part of me wants to keep the early morning feeding until he's into his first year, but there's a big chance my milk supply will diminish too much and I won't be able to keep it up. The other part of me says WEAN, WEAN, as quick as you can! Freedom, sweet freedom! The year has kind of flown by and when I stop to consider that I have been breastfeeding my baby for almost an ENTIRE year, I am amazed. I got lucky. I am proud of myself. I think the end is near. We've already introduced E to whole cow's milk, so now it's just a matter of replacing each feeding one by one with a cup of milk. He does fine with a sippy cup on his own. I can't believe the breastfeeding bond will soon be a thing of the past! Part of me is elated, part of me doesn't want to let it go. But I already said that, didn't I?

Yesterday at E's afternoon nursing he bit me. Not once, not twice. Three times. He has 8 teeth in front, 4 on top and 4 on bottom, like little razors. It hurt like hell. The first two times I pulled him away with a stern No, no. No biting. Biting hurts. The third time I actually yelled, for the very first time ever, right at my son. Tears welled up in his bright blue eyes and his lip quivered. It was awful. He started to wail. I told him that I was sorry for yelling and hugged him, and reminded him that biting hurts. Once he calmed down and I re-offered my boob to him, he pulled away and started to fuss. I tried switching sides, but he refused. I concluded that he just wasn't very hungry and that he'd eat more before bed. When bedtime rolled around and I tried to nurse him, the same thing happened. He wouldn't even latch on for a second. He pulled away and began to fuss. Rejected again! I couldn't believe it. By this time my boobs were full-on porn star quality: rock hard, sticking straight out, engorged with milk. It was scary. I had no choice but to pump.

The pump I have is this little dinky hand-held. I hate manual pumps, hate them with all of my soul! I pumped and pumped and pumped until my hands cramped up and I could pump no more, then I made my husband pump it until his hand cramped up too. All I got was a measly 2 ounces. I poured the milk into a sippy cup and offered it to E. He seemed to gulp it down, but when I took the cup away from his mouth all the milk spilled onto the floor, soaking his jammies and the living room rug. Bah! All my hard work! All that precious milk! I dumped the rest down the drain. This morning it took a tiny bit of prodding to get Ethan to nurse, but once he latched on his eyes relaxed and he seemed to be in heaven as he literally gulped down my mommy juice. Thank gawd. Suddenly weaning would be the worst thing in the world. However, it might give me a brief career in adult movies. How does Sara Does Louisiana sound?

::

Yesterday ended up being a high calorie day. I had planned a cheat for today but found myself seriously wanting some fat-free frozen yogurt last night, so I switched things accordingly. I swear, next cheat will be gooooood. Drew kept making fun of me for wasting a free meal on fat-free frozen yogurt with a tablespoon of apricot all-fruit spread, 1 chocolate Tootsie Pop and 2 whole-grain fig neutons. That was definitely a wussy indulgence. I think on Saturday I'll get a Pumpkin or Eggnog milkshake from Jack in the Box and maybe have a glass of wine. Now that's exciting.

Yesterday's Food

1/3 c. (dry) oats with 1 c. lo-fat cottage cheese, Splenda & cinnamon
coffee with Splenda

choco-pb-nana-protein shake
coffee with Splenda

egg salad on whole wheat flatbread with onion and lettuce
diet rootbeer
green tea

small apple
2 lite string cheese

1 oz. mixed nuts
more diet rootbeer

5 oz. whitefish filet
steamed broccoli
sweet tater with 1 T. basil pesto

1.5 c. fat-free frozen vanilla yogurt
1 T. apricot all-fruit spread
1 chocolate Tootsie Pop
2 whole-grain fig neutons

Total cals: 2,055

Workout: 20 mins. step aerobics

I'm feeling better today. I felt like donkey balls when I woke up this morning, but after lifting weights for an hour I felt much betta. Awesome.