Texas...

I hate Texas. I really do. When I think of Texas I think of dead grass, exhaust, SUVs and fast food on every corner. But when I think of Texas I also think about my family: my mom, 3 sisters and 2 brothers, grandparents... the full list. We were supposed to go to Texas for a long weekend next week, but our trip was pretty much ruined by D's douchebag of a boss. I could go alone but the thought of driving for over 7 hours with Ethan, WHO IS NEARLY 19 MONTHS OLD, is absolutely terrifying. I'm 99.9% sure that I'd drive us right off a bridge after, oh, an hour and a half or so, because drowning in my car would be more enjoyable than traveling that long with a screaming toddler. Ethan can barely stand to sit in his carseat when we drive the 20 minutes to the grocery store each Saturday, nevermind for hours at a time.

Since we moved to Louisiana I guess I've seen most of my family pretty regularly. My sis Emily and her fiance Zack have come to stay with us a few times, and my mom and the crew have been here twice. I suppose you could say that we see them every 3 months. For as close a family as we are and were, that's not nearly often enough. What's more, the fact that my mom doesn't get to see Ethan on a regular basis makes me want to stab myself. It is SO important to me that he grow up knowing her... fortunately when she visits us or we visit her, Ethan takes to her like white on rice in a heartbeat. He loves my mom, Aunt Emily too, and could care less what I think when they're around. I love it. I'm pretty sure they love that too. It's nice, and I want it to happen every weekend, not 4 times a year. Anyway, I'm pretty upset that we won't be going to see them. I'm really very sad. I feel empty inside. THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY. My gawd, I demand that you all stop reading my blog this instant and instead run to the phone and call your mom, sister, brother, aunt, grandma... tell them that you care. And if you live close to each other, take advantage of it. Go drink some gah-damn tea together or something. Anything!

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We got Ethan some bath crayons today. That was and will be the highlight of my entire weekend. Waa.