RAN-DUMB

South Beach Diet has some new rad-sounding salad kits out. I bought the walnut-cranberry-chicken salad one and plan on eating it for lunch at work tomorrow. I'm already a big fan of their pizzas and breakfast wraps, so I'm hoping these are equally as delicious. In a pinch, South Beach meals typically provide a good balance of protein and carbs and a healthy dose of fiber. Yes, I'm on the eternal non-diet, but I absolutely still give a rats ass about eating enough protein and fiber. That will never change. You can NOT diet and still read labels. That is a way of life, MY way of life. I quite like it, actually.

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Tomorrow marks 2 weeks of non-dieting. WHOOt! I'm not freaking out and deciding that I need to tighten things up and measure out my salad dressing, praise the Lord! Instead I am still eating what I want, when I want, exercising hard, NOT over-eating, enjoying everything as I go. Such a drastic change from 2 weeks ago, when I was still trapped in my death cycle of restrict/binge/restrict/binge. I don't mean to go on and on about this, but you have to understand that it's a HUGE deal to someone that has a)overeaten and binged ALL her life, b)suffered from severe anorexia for over 3 years, c)counted calories for a looooooooooooong time, and d)always labeled food as "good" or "bad". I had to totally reexamine everything in my life... it's never just about food or weight. Letting go of the control you get when you count calories was tough, but somehow it's really working this time. I get my inspiration from Sara L., who 1)has a hot belly photo up at the current mo' and 2)is 1 year ahead of me with this non-diet thing. Not only do we share the same name, but we've been down some similar roads and she has been a blessing to me, a real doll in replying to my annoying and repetitive emails regarding weight and food and THE STRUGGLE in general.

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Yesterday we bought a new blender, how exciting! We decided to celebrate by making Mexican food and homemade margaritas. Heh! I made the ultimate mistake when I decided that the 2 LARGE margaritas my husband had made me just weren't doing it for me and chased them with a large-ish glass of red wine. Jose totally snuck up on me and bit me right on the ass, and my delicious dinner ended up in the toilet. I also passed out on the bathroom floor for about 2 hours. Despite how much my husband laughed at me, this was in NO WAY funny. I am not 18, or 19, or 21. I am 27. 27 year olds DO NOT get the spins and spew their carefully perfected dinner down a porcelain tunnel. It was horrible. Vow # 1: I AM NEVER DRINKING TEQUILA AGAIN. Vow # 2: I AM NEVER GETTING A HANGOVER AGAIN, EVER. I drank loads of coffee and a giant diet redbull this morning as a spur-o-the-moment hangover cure, and I was FLYING. It was scary. Then we went to Earth Day in Baton Rouge and ate festival food and got sun burned and walked through crowds and crowds and crowds of people, under the hot sun, and I felt like I actually might DIE. I didn't die. I just ate a huge grilled chicken salad with carrots and tomatoes and green peppers and spinach and ranch dressing. But I ALMOST died. The moral of the story is DO NOT BREAK UNIVERSAL DRINKING RULE # 4: Never chase tequila with red wine. You've been warned. Don't let me down.

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Heard the new Cold War Kids song? Hang me out to dry? THE BEST SONG EVER. Ever. That's all I have to say about that.

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Just read everything over and realized that none of it makes any sense. Enjoy. There's a message and a story there somewhere. Good luck finding it. Also, wear a condom.