13 Weeks...

Ethan was 13 weeks old on Tuesday. Monday night my sister Emily and I went to the Angelika to see "Capote" (which I loved, by the way, either because it was truly a great movie or because I was so just so happy to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE without having to worry about diaper explosions) while my mom watched Ethan. We left the house at around 6:40 pm to catch the 7:45 pm showing. I fed Ethan at 6-ish for a good twenty or thirty minutes. The tank was full. At 9:45 when the movie had ended, I called my mom to see how he was doing. She told me that he was hungry and would not take a bottle. Would not take a bottle.

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This is something new. Up until now Ethan had gladly sucked on whatever dispensed some form of food to him. Now he has decided to be picky. Part of me loves that he only wants to breastfeed, and I know that we could very well have had the opposite problem: breastfeeding troubles. So many of my friends have said that they just couldn't get their little ones to latch on, or that their milk just didn't come in, or that they simply had no desire to breastfeed. I am so lucky and thankful that it all fell pretty easily into place for us. Besides my milk taking a day or so longer to come in than Ethan would've liked, we've been successfully nursing from the start. So while I love to breastfeed and I love that Ethan does, too, I'd like to get out of the house without him again at some point. And now I'm really kind of locked into a 3-hour window of escape. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing that he's at home starving without me. You'd think that if he was hungry enough he'd take a bottle. But I've heard horror stories about women with babies that just WILL NOT take a bottle no matter what, and the babies go 8+ hours without eating until their mothers return with the goods. D and I are going out this coming Monday night while my blessed mother babysits again, so we'll give the bottle another shot. *fingers are crossed*

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In other news Emily, Ethan and I went to the "Cry Baby Matinee" at the Angelika this morning. I've talked about going for weeks now, and finally we bit the bullet and actually went. It was awesome! There were 4 other mommies/babies in the theater: 3 girls and 1 other boy. I small-talked with 2 of the mom's as they entered the theater. They each had girls, 3 and 4 months old. All of the babies were suprisingly good... Ethan really blew me away. He watched some of the movie, nursed, pooped his diaper VERY LOUDLY, watched more of the movie and didn't start fussing until it was 3/4 of the way through. I walked to the side of the theater with him and he fell asleep with a few walks up and down the hall, so I didn't miss much of the movie. AMAZING! Twas a glorious experience. I just might do it again. I took great comfort in seeing the other moms in action. There was an understanding, a kind of silent sympathy if one of us had to leave the theater with our fussy babies. I will admit that a certain "stroller envy" came over me for a moment when I realized that I was the only one without a fucking TANK for a stroller. I thought I looked cool with my cute little ice-blue Jeep umbrella stroller until all the other mom's came in with their heavy-super-ultra duty carrier/stroller combinations. The feeling was similar to how I sometimes feel when I'm happily driving along in my black 2003 Cavalier and get caught at a stop light next to a new Lexus or something. But fuck it. My umbrella stroller kicks ass and I can fold it up, stick it in my trunk and go in a matter of minutes. *MY BABY WAS TOTALLY THE CUTEST ONE IN THE THEATER SO THEY MUST HIDE THEIR AVERAGE LOOKING BABIES BEHIND THEIR MIGHTY STROLLERS*

Sorry. *BUT IT'S TRUE. MY BABY NEEDS NO SPECIAL SUPER EXPENSIVE GEAR TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF*

End rant.

We saw "Match Point", by the way, and it kicked ass. Scarlett Johansson (lips, boobs) and Jonathan Rhys (lips, eyes, BODY!) are sexy as hell. Delicious.

A Happy Mom...

Not because Ethan slept in his crib (he hasn't yet). Just because I'm feeling especially lucky to have such an amazing little baby boy. All of you out there with children? Go kiss and hug and love on them RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Hurry!

12 Weeks... No shit!

Today Ethan is twelve weeks old. To me, time seems to speed up with each year that passes, but when I had a kid that seemed to go into turbo mode. There have been times in the last month when I've actually stopped and wondered when they made the week 5 days instead of 7. Give me back my missing days! And add a few extra ones in there while you're at it! How about Funday, which would come between Monday and Tuesday? And then Mursday? Mursday would fall between Thursday and Friday. I considered adding Faterday, too, but I am pretty sure that most women would object to that one.

I promised myself that on Ethan's 12 week birthday I would begin OPERATION:SLEEP IN YO' CRIB CHILD. This morning I brought out the crib bedding set that's been living under Ethan's crib since before he was born. I hid it there and kind of forgot about it, simply because I thought it was hideous. It was a gift I'd forgot to exchange. As a whole it's actually really cute, now that it's on the crib. The theme is teddy bears and stars, and the bear is leaning on his little friend the stuffed rabbit and he's holding a green "blankie". Sure, he's also wearing denim overalls, but THIS IS TEXAS PEOPLE. Let's just be glad he's not leaning on a spitoon with a big mouthful of tobacco, holding a loaded shotgun. It could always totally be worse.

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I also changed his mobile from the boring newborn black n' white pieces that had been collecting dust to more colorful and age appropriate (and much less creepy!) patterns and pictures. Anyway, this morning after breakfast I laid Ethan down in his crib and walked away. Usually at this time of the day I lump him into his Graco swing and take a shower. He almost always falls asleep and this is what I call his mid-morning nap. My hope was that I'd stick him in his crib, take a shower and come out to find him fast asleep. After my shower I checked on him and he was still staring up at his mobile, the same as he'd been doing thirty minutes before. I'll call myself an optimist and see the glass as half full; this was simply a time for Ethan to 'get familiar' with his crib. I guess that is kind of necessary if I want the transition from swing/mommy's bed to crib to be nice and smooth. I really don't want to lose any sleep over this. And I surely don't want Ethan to lose any sleep over this. We're in such a good place right now that I must be crazy to disrupt the routine we've got going on. So, first we'll become "comfortable" and "familiar" with the crib. Next, we'll try napping in the crib, which I actually just tried for his afternoon nap with ZERO success. But, consistency is going to be key, and since I'm not quite ready to let him 'cry it out', I'd say that TRYING to get him to nap in his crib for an entire HOUR this afternoon shows that I mean business. I'll try again this evening and then start the whole thing over tomorrow. Once he's napping in his crib, we'll start putting him in there at night, too. One thing at a time, I guess.

I'm really hoping that I am the one making this more difficult than it has to be. Maybe, after a week or so, Ethan will suprise me and one day he'll just FALL. ASLEEP. IN. HIS. CRIB. The only way to find out is to keep trying. I would really love to hear how you all get your little ones to sleep. I'm told that the majority require some rocking/walking/strollering/jiggling. To me this is a daunting task, especially when you're expected to do it before practically every nap and each night before bed, and then again after the nighttime feeding. I WELCOME ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS! I can only fucking jiggle and rock for so long, but I might be able to go a little longer if I knew that parents across the world were doing the same damn thing.

Thinking...

I know they say that you shouldn't clean your ear canal with a Q-tip, but it's kind of like a little orgasm for your ear when you do it, isn't it?

Those are probably the same people that think masturbation is wrong.

Friday...

Ok, so Happy St. Patrick's Day to all. I'm half Irish and I'm not wearing a lick of green, but sometimes Ethan's spit-up dries into a yellowish-green crust, and there's probably some of that somewhere on my shirt, so let's pretend that counts. M'kay?

I don't have a whole lot going on this weekend. I'll be celebrating today by going grocery shopping at Super Wal-Mart this evening. What a treat! And that's it. Nothing to see here. Move it along people...!!! Sunday I'm cooking up a fab dinner for my family. That's the highlight of my weekend. There will be lots of wine involved is all I know. So I'll be a very happy and jolly and giddy little chef. Sara fucking Lee! And nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, right? Or is it... nobody DOES IT like Sara Lee? Shit, now I can't remember the jingle. Gah. Am rambling. Am a loser.

Anyway, to all you childless people that actually have a life, BE SAFE tonight, don't drink and drive and get caught (kidding, kidding) wear green so the pervs don't pinch you inappropriately and DRINK A COUPLE OF GREEN BEERS for me, will ya?

Take 2...

I have been contemplating starting a whole new blog entirely, simply because I look back and re-read some of my earlier posts and it makes that wrinkle appear between my eyebrows and I want to delete it all, DEAR GAWD, who writes such nonsense? I was obviously trying to sound all witty and deep and 'just give me a cigarette and a cup of coffee and let me rot in my own personal hell'. Blech. So, let's move on.

The thing I'd really like to focus on now is being a parent and the crayon box of emotions that comes with that. Up until now I think I've made it all sound like THE EASIEST JOB EVER, and more than likely that's because you caught me in a good mood. Unless the baby is screaming and howling in your ear and HAS BEEN DOING SO FOR THIRTY MINUTES OR MORE, you tend to forget the bad moments with the next big toothless smile that your kid throws at you. So, while the not-so-skittles n' rainbows memory of last night is still fresh in my head, let's begin.

Ethan is a good baby. He really and truly is. In the first few weeks I was horrified. The other mommy bloggers that I have been reading daily for over a year all wrote something like, "He never ever cries, thank goodness" or "For the most part, he just sits there quietly". THE ENVY. THE JEALOUSY. Why was I cursed with the exorcist child? WHY? But now I know that my kid is pretty normal. Now when I go to read an entry from one of those blogs (their children being 2 months older than my own or more) and they open with "The howling! The screaming!", I kind of smile inside. It just makes me feel better. Of course, it also makes me FEARFUL of the months to come. But you just can't live in fear now can you? I spend enough time worrying that I'm not getting the fold in one of Ethan's many chins clean enough.

Anyway, it is true that being a parent ROCKS. I love it. I love being a mom and watching him grow and change and just EVERYTHING about it. But it's also H-A-R-D. Harder than anything I've ever done. Harder than the hour and a half of pushing I did to get this far. That's saying a lot, I think.

Ethan has settled into a sort of pattern where he'll nap up to 3 times during the day. It is heaven, a welcome change from the early days when he would sleep like, oh, NEVER. His bedtime has also fallen from 12:30 a.m. to a more do-able 10 p.m. (sometimes earlier!). He sleeps through the night except for two feedings, each around 3 to 4 hours apart. This is like winning the lottery people! Just weeks ago he would wake every hour to snack on my boob and chew my nipple like a piece of Wrigley's. I was clocking 4 or 5 hours of broken sleep a night on a good night, and now I get 10 hours broken into two or three long stretches. It's really, really nice.

But, problems still remain, things are still on my mind, changes need to be made. Ethan naps, horray! But he still won't sleep in his crib. He never has. In fact, since coming out of the womb he has spent maybe 3 hours total in his crib asleep. He is 11 weeks old now. Yeah. Ethan sleeps in his swing for naps, and with me at night. I don't mind the co-sleeping at all. When he wakes for a midnight feeding I simply pull up my shirt and stick my boob into his waiting mouth. When he's finished, we both go back to sleep. I like that. My husband, not so much. Since it's just me and the baby for now, it's great. But when D does come to visit he hates not getting me all to himself. And I look into Ethan's future and can clearly see many nights of non-stop howling and struggling and fussing as we finally try to get him to sleep in his darn crib. I know that the longer I wait to enforce it, the harder it will be. Right now I am trying to find the easiest way to transition. By 12 weeks (or next Tuesday, to be exact) I'd like to start OPERATION:SLEEP IN YOUR DAMN CRIB. I'm stocking up on sleep now.

The other problem is that he requires some sort of motion to actually get him to sleep. More often than not he'll become overly tired and will fight sleep to the very end, until he passes out from a battle lost. But it's a very long and tiring war, as much for me as for him. I can only jiggle/rock/walk for so long. That's where the swing came in. Ahhhh, the swing, created by angels straight from heaven. But now I think we've become too dependent on it. I'm not really sure that a baby Ethan's age is capable of getting himself to sleep. They wouldn't make swings and rockers and bouncy chairs if babies didn't need them, if they didn't serve some purpose, right? But when do you say enough is enough? When do you start going to Bouncy Chair-aholics Anonymous and stop the madness? And how bad are the withdrawls?

I guess it varies from baby to baby. And the crying spell that Ethan had last night makes me never ever want to give up the swing, he can take it to college with him if he needs to, let me buy you a bigger bouncy seat oh 25 year old son-o-mine! But something's got to give. One thing at a time, I figure. One day at a time.



For now I've decided to keep him, because he's so flippin' cute.

Carry On...

Not a whooooooole lot going on these days. Just getting ready to move to Louisiana, basically. Nearly all of our new furniture has been shipped to LA, most of it has already arrived, and D's finishing up the floors and the painting. I'm thinking that at the end of April Ethan and I will make the drive and settle in to our new place. How exciting!

On Saturday my friend Megan came over with Project Runway: Season 1 on dvd. DAMN HER TO HELL, for she sucketh me in to yet another reality series. Just what I needed. Within 5 minutes of the first episode I was totally hooked. I have an amazingly addictive personalitiy. By Sunday evening I had watched the entire first season. Um, yeah... that's like 9 flippin' episodes, AN HOUR each (more like 40 minutes each without commercials). Do the math. That's a lot of time spent watching the not-quite-human Heidi Klum purr in her totally hott German accent, "Either your in, or your out". She's delicious.

I DID get out of the house for a bit though, I swear! Yesterday we went to an art exhibit at UTD where my sister Bonnie got an award for a kick ass picture she did of our dad. Ethan was all pimped out in his blue Jeep 'All Weather' stroller, and he was totally workin' it for the crowd. I'm such a proud mama.

Now, when does Season 2 come out on dvd?