Excrement! Also, Texas...

Jesus Christ. Ethan has had this HORRIBLE obsession with taking his diaper off during nap and night time the last two days. We've had 2 poo situations and 2 pee situations, so far an even score, each significantly more disgusting than the last. We were up at 2:30 a.m. this morning stripping the urine-soaked sheets from his mattress and re-diapering his naked ass, and then we were lucky enough to enter his room this morning at 7 a.m. to find the same mess, only this time involving poo. Between that and trying to potty train the new pup, my entire weekend has pretty much involved nothing but bodily excretions, NONE OF WHICH WERE FROM MY OWN BODY.

Ahem! Today we returned the puppy to D's mom's house, where it came from. This experience has made me realize that I am no longer a dog person. Not at all. Or, I'm not a puppy person, rather. Oh, how I hate puppies. Isn't that awful? Next I'll be saying that I love to eat the brains of baby bunnies. Anyway, two weeks of random peeing and pooping and chewing and biting and scratching almost caused me a nervous breakdown. He had to go. Supposedly we are not allowed to give Ethan away in this same manner, so instead we bought some Diego pull-ups and said a few prayers. Cool, look, it's DIEGO! And you want to wear Diego on your crotch, right? If the Spanish-speaking, backpack totin' explorer isn't enough to keep those suckers on, I'm hoping that they'll be too tight for Ethan to take off himself. Hopefully he will grow tired after a few minutes of tugging and pulling and will PASS the FUCK OUT from exhaustion. My fingers are crossed.


Alert, alert! I scoped out some Cadbury Creme Eggs at the grocery store yesterday and bought three of them. I think these little nuggets of sweet and creamy goodness are a love-or-hate food. You either absolutely LURVE them or they make you want to yack. For all you lovers out there, go buy some and molest the gooey center with your tongue. You know you wanna.


In other, more exciting news, we are moving back to Texas! We're GOING-GOING, BACK-BACK to TEXAS-TEXAS. I turned in my resignation at work nearly a month ago, giving them a more than fair 9-week notice, so now the hunt is on for my replacement. What is in store for us in Texas, you ask? Well, D has already secured a job. I am looking at going back to school to finish out my Bachelors degree. I think I might enjoy majoring in journalism! I can't believe that has never occurred to me before, to pursue something I actually enjoy. For the longest time I wanted to get a degree in nutrition, but that wasn't necessarily because I'm in love with macronutrients or anything; my eating-disordered past had programmed me to memorize any and everything I learn about food and metabolism. So it just made sense to go with something I seemed to be good at. Now I'm not so sure I was ever good at nutrition, I think I'm just really good at having eating disorders. I don't think the University of North Texas offers that degree plan.

Anyway! I'm stoked to move back, really over-the-freaking-moon excited. I'm nervous about trying to find a new daycare for Ethan. We love his current class so much that I'm sure everything else will pale in comparison (Megan? Didja talk to yer mama?). I remember the anxiety I had the first time we looked for a daycare, so I'm certain everything will work out just as well this time. My last day is Friday, February 15th. That's what, less than six weeks away!? I'm kind of sad to leave the people at my office. They are without a doubt the funniest, most enthusiastic, smartest group of people I have ever had the pleasure of working with. But I'm not sad to leave my actual job. It's time to mooooooooooooove on. It's time to move back home! We'll be U-Haulin' it back to DFW on February 25th. YEE-freaking-HAW, y'all!


At 8:28 AM, Anonymous joanne said...

Congrats on the move! You sound happy so it must be the right thing!
Goodness, your prose actually glows!

Good luck to you and all you do!

As for the puppy thing I can relate. DH and I were hemming and hawing about getting a friend for our Golden Retriever, but I realized I was not up to running around after another animal..be it puppy or dog.

At 5:18 PM, Anonymous zoey said...

For the night time stripping: my SIL used to put my niece in a 'onsie', the kind for toddlers that zip up the middle...they usually have feet in them- cut those off and put the onsie on backwards, with the zipper up the back. He'd have to work very hard to unzip that thing (not impossible, but not the kind of thing he'd manage just half awake)..

At 5:23 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Oooo! Zoey, that's brilliant. Tell your SIL she's a GENIUS! The Diego pullups seem to have worked so far, but if he starts stripping again I'll do that backwards onesie thing for sure.

At 5:39 AM, Blogger Savy said...

The creme eggs are out already????

Congrats on going back to TX (I'm actually flying there tomorrow... I've never done more than pop through an airport there, wonder what it'll be like to go outside?) I say go for the journalism degree!!!


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