Week 2...

Tomorrow Ethan will be 2 weeks old. Hurrah! We made it nearly 2 whole weeks! Yesterday was NOT. A. GOOD. DAY. crying-wise. Ethan fussed and whined and cried out in great displeasure for MUCH (no, for MOST) of the evening and into the night. My mother took him for a few hours so that I could sleep. BLESS HER KIND AND LOVING SOUL! This morning he is all googly eyes and smiles, which of course makes up for it all. He's way too cute for his own good, much like his father... he's already getting away with much more than he should be able to simply because of his strapping good looks.

The problem I am facing now is that E will NOT sleep in his crib. He can be passed out like a plastered sorority girl, but the second you lay him in his crib he starts to cry. I don't get it. So, he's been sleeping on my chest every single night. It's THE ONLY WAY I can get a wink of sleep. Not GOOD sleep, mind you, because I wake up every hour to make sure he's still breathing and because sleeping this way gives me the most unbearable neck pains EVER... but it's still sleep. I'll take it. My fear is that he'll go off to college and I'll have to come along so that he can sleep on mama's chest. I don't want to make this a HABIT, but at this point I'll risk it, if only for 1 hour of peace and silence and being able to shut my eyes for a moment at a time. I can down a mean beer bong, so maybe going to college with him wouldn't be so bad anyhow.

D is in Louisiana, which is both good and bad all at once. He's doing really, really well there. But I constantly fluctuate between feelings of helplessness, lonliness, exhaustion, worthlessness, dear god I'm a SLAVE to my BABY! While he's in LA bringin' home the bacon and setting up shop for us to eventually move there, I can't even go to the bathroom without having to trick an innocent family member into entertaining E for the short amount of time it takes me to pee. That's all I want! Let me pee! Too much to ask?

While I miss my husband, and while at times I think Ethan KNOWS what he's doing to me and takes great pleasure in watching me squirm, I won't lie... I love this baby more than words will ever be able to describe. Every sleepless night is totally worth it. We're so lucky to have him here, blood curdling cries and all.