6 Weeks to Go...

Dear Lil' E,

I promised myself that I would not write internet letters to you at any point in time, but at this stage of the game it's very hard to resist, especially since I am so excited to meet you and weak with motherly love.

You will be here in 6, maybe 7 weeks. Tomorrow is your baby shower. I tried to pick out all the cool, colorful, hip baby things that I think you'd enjoy, but please be aware that much of our family does not know how a "registry" works, so you'll probably get 4 of one thing and none of another, and we'll have to spend these last few weeks rushing around and making exchanges so we're up to par with the baby necessities checklist. Try to ignore the harsh 4-letter words you often hear me exclaim. They mean nothing and should not be repeated until you are at least 2, maybe 2 1/2. Also? Someone other than myself should teach you proper punctuation and grammar skills. Aunt Emily will be great for this... but we'll talk about her later on.

I can't wait to hold you. I wonder what color your hair will be, what color your eyes will turn... will you be a smart ass like your mama or goofy as hell like your dad? Maybe a little of both, and either way we'll love you just the same. I can't imagine loving you any more than I already do, even not having met you just yet. But I know that when you are actually here, my heart will probably explode into a million pieces and I will fall to my knees and be wrapped around your chubby little finger for the rest of our lives. You already got me, kid... I'm a sucker for chubby thighs and spit up, what can I say?

Let's talk a bit about the family members you will see most frequently upon arrival: Grandma Cary, my mom... she's the cute little blonde woman that will make you smile and giggle without doing a single damn thing. You'll love her. Though we haven't figured out what we want you to call her yet (Grandma is too old-school for her taste), I'm sure the two of you will get along just fine. Then there's Aunt Carolyn. You can turn to her for fashion advice and free Mexican food from On the Border. She's going to school to be a grief counselor, so if I screw you up too bad she just might be able to help. And if you're ever into drag? Have her show you how to do your makeup. Aunt Emily, the book-smart wizard I mentioned earlier, wants 800 kids of her own one day. You'll give her lots of practice for her future family, so save most of your super poopie diapers for her. She'll thank you in the end. She's going to school and majoring in MATH, so consider all of your highschool algebra homework already done. She's also way into piercings, so she'll be your personal hole-punching consultant as well. Aunt Bonnie, the last of my sisters, is one of the sweetest girls I know. She'll be graduating highschool around the time you get here, so I'm sure the two of you will bond instantly over this newfound immersion into the "real" world. You can also get free Mexican food from her. And she might even let you borrow her Reno 911 dvd. Last but not least, Uncle Nowell and Uncle Robin. They just entered highschool this year. For now, they have lots to offer in the way of video game cheat codes, anything that has to do with a computer (they built their own!) and fine dining at Taco Bell. (Try the 'cheesy gordita crunch').

All in all, I think you'll like it here. You'll never be lonely, that's for sure. You've been really good to me in utero, and I promise to make it great for you out here. I love you. Soooooo much.

Love, mama

P.S. I promise to never, ever eat my weight in tootsie rolls again like I did this afternoon. I know, I felt it too.