Oh, the Madness!

My gosh, things have been insane lately. Two weeks ago D went to get the alignment fixed on his car, which ultimately could not be done because we need part A and part B before the alignment can be toyed with, so we basically ended up paying $60 for NUTTIN at all. Then, D left his wallet there after paying the bullshit $60 for NUTTIN and didn't realize it until about an hour later. The crackwhore clerk was gracious enough to give him his wallet back, minus his bankcard and cash. Lovely. That night was spent on the phone with monotone bank lady A, who assured me that the card was blocked and that no charges had been made, though one had been attemped but they used the wrong PIN# so it didn't go through. OK.

The next four days were also spent on the phone, with non-English speaking bank lady B, nice and cheery cheerleader bank lady C, sexy & smooth deep-voiced bank guy D, and FINALLY with dorky-sounding but extremely helpful bank guy E. This was all necessary because the dipshit that took the card racked up nearly $700 in charges at... gas stations and fast food restaurants. Um, yeah. Hungry and desperately in need of loooots of gas, I guess. Bastard! We also filed a police report. Meh. I'm just glad I'm not still on hold with the bank. Because at one point I was sure I'd have to cancel all my weekend plans due to being on hold for thirteen days in a row.

At first, the lesson learned was this: D simply should not have a bank card in his possesion. Upon further analysis of the situation, the ultimate lesson is as follows: THE WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT AND YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. I'm sure there was a time when the Pep Boys would have actually CALLED US and said, "Hey silly, come get your wallet!", and D would've gone back up there and they'd have given him his wallet, had a laugh about D's forgetfulness, and TAKING HIS FUCKING CARD AND SPENDING IT ON BULLSHIT WOULD NEVER HAVE CROSSED ANYONE'S MIND. But noooooo.... so, in conclusion, do not give forgetful people bank cards and do not trust anyone. The world is full of shitty, shitty people. But if you're nice to bank people they might make things a little bit better. After 4 or 5 days.

Anyway, I totally passed out/fainted/made an ass out of myself at my mother's birthday lunch at an Italian restaurant on Sunday. After the meal I felt all clammy and hot, then my ears started ringing, then everything got fuzzy, and I stupidly asked my mother for assistance to the restroom. After maybe 5 steps in the general restroom direction, I lost it and woke up slumped in a chair, a SWARM of people all around. I was given ice water, an ice pack, a wet cloth and many looks of concern. Being nearly 35 weeks pregnant, people thought I was going into labor. Nope. Nothing to see over here, y'all! Just passing out, heh! This happened once before about a year and a half ago, and I was not pregnant then and was somewhat tipsy and had just smoked some weed. So I thought I had just outdone myself. But now my doctor wants tests done and blood drawn, "just to be sure nothing is seriously wrong". Fun.

On a much happier and exciting note, Ethan is doing GREAT. He is simply marvelous. He kicks and squirms and my tummy moves in waves and there's a butt poking out here, a foot there. He keeps a pretty regular schedule which is awesome. He will be here in one month from tomorrow. I am so. freaking. excited. Am getting carseat installed in car this weekend. Am packing diaper bag and washing baby clothes and packing hospital bag, too. Because I? Want to be prepared. I want to be ready, or to trick myself into *thinking* that I am ready.

I can't wait!