Oh, Pardon Me!

My fiance. He farts out loud. On purpose. And when I say out loud, I mean LOUD. There is no hiding this natural occurence of his. In fact, there are times when I really think that he was taught in his younger years that the more you fart, the LOUDER you fart, well, it gets you some sort of special place in heaven.

He enjoys farting. In bed, on the couch, in MY FACE... in the kitchen as we're cooking dinner. Noone is safe from his ghastly blows. And when they smell? Oh mercy. My hair stands on end and my eyes burn. It is baaaaaaad. Even the dog, who EATS HIS OWN SHIT, runs for cover.

So I've been thinking... I'll be marrying this man, the farter, in 2 days. On Friday. THIS Friday. If he's already doing these things in front of me, what could I possibly have to look forward to after we are officially man and wife?

Isn't divorce "in" these days?