Frick.

It's time to get Ethan a big boy bed.

Waaaaaa!

I am drowning in a sea of tears. Where did my baby go? WHERE OH WHERE?

Also: potty training, thinking about. Frick.

Frick!

The last few nights Ethan has cried a wailing, pitiful howl every time we put him to bed. Last night I had about had it and started bawling myself. I didn't want to go in his room to comfort him, because that always makes it worse since you eventually have to put him back in his crib and leave the room. It floors me how he always seems so shocked that we're putting him back to bed... what the... mother! You! Woman! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, tucking me in to my safe, secure, soft crib like this!? Child abuse! SOMEBODY CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES! He cries like his feelings are genuinely hurt, like we've broken his little heart. It's the same reaction I imagine I'd have if somebody told me that my favorite slimming, ultra-flattering jeans made my ass look huge. Psh.

Anyway! So last night Drew finally went in to "comfort" him. He'd been crying off and on for over 30 brutal minutes. For some reason D took him into the hallway, where Ethan promptly pointed in the direction of our dark bedroom and said There, there... there! Intrigued, D took Ethan into our room, where he immediately dove onto our bed and passed out. We weren't even in bed yet, we were still watching t.v. in the living room. Drew scratched his head, left the room and closed the door behind him. Not a peep. Not one sound! He was out cold. It was the most bizarre thing eva. Very rarely I'll take Ethan in our bed to sleep with us if he repeatedly cries out in the middle of the night, but that happens maybe once every 3 months. I don't understand the new allure of our bed, especially since we weren't even in it. Over the weekend we upgraded from a queen to a king. Maybe E decided that, heh, why sleep at the Motel 6 when you can stay at the Marriott? The little bugger knew exactly what he was doing. I told this story to 3 people today and each one of them laughed and said boy, he's got y'all wrapped around his finger! BREAK THIS HABIT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

So, tonight we showed him just who wears the pants in this relationship. That would be....... us! The PARENTS. He stopped crying about 5 minutes ago (knock on wood) and is now asleep in his crib. It's time for a big boy bed, which is my very worst nightmare, because I like him IN A CAGE. I guess I need to accept that he can't sleep in a crib until he's 6, we can't just keep buying bigger cribs to hold him... how very unfortunate. *sigh*

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I've been marvelously right on with nutrition and training since Sunday. I'm feeling great! I ate enough asparagus the last 3 days to clear my post-hogfest bloat, so things are lookin' good. My new plan includes more "10%" meals, just with less food at each. I'll be able to hang on to what little sanity I have left by having 3 or 4 planned cheat meals each week instead of 1 or 2 ginormous, record-breaking ones.

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Alright, off to watch Californication and LA Ink while eating a serving of Amyella's crustless meat pizza. The house is clean, dishes are done, laundry in the dryer, the tot is asleep in his cage... life is good.