Advice...

Hey guys, let's say your wife has had a little too much to drink and is trying to go to sleep without first having to worship the porcelain gods. The one thing that you absolutely should NOT do is EAT CRACKLINS (fucking fried pork skin, ya'll, I mean that's enough to make me barf without having the alcohol-induced spins) AND SMACK THEIR GREASY DISGUSTINGNESS IN HER EAR. The last thing I remember from last night is me pleading with D to please, please stop eating those right this minute... but it was too late.