Cut the Cord Already...

I said I wouldn't bust out my crib-sleeping enforcement badge until we got to our house in Louisiana, but after reading a recent post by one of my favorite bloggers and an article on sleep in American Baby, I was curiously stricken with the urge to start the process right away. I've researched and read and googled, and with the help of my own mother I've taken a semi-Ferber approach to getting little Ethan to A) sleep in his crib instead of in the bed with me and B) fall asleep on his own.

From the day that Ethan was home from the hospital up until yesterday, (that's over 18 weeks time!) he has been sleeping with me. In my bed. The routine went something like this: Eat dinner. Drink a cuppa half-caf outside with Ethan. Brush teeth. Wash face. Change into pajamas. Fluff pillows, unfold blanket. Change Ethan. Nurse Ethan. Rock and burp Ethan until he falls asleep in my arms. Lay down, place Ethan on my chest. DO NOT MOVE LEST THE GATES OF HELL OPEN AND ITS ETERNAL FIRES SWALLOW ME WHOLE. In other words, give up my nightlife completely to avoid waking the baby, who is fast asleep ON ME. He'd usually fall asleep somewhere between 7 and 8 p.m. I know this sounds daunting and a little bit ridiculous (ok, a lot ridiculous), and I'll be the first to admit that yes, yes it was. But it's the only routine that worked for me and that I was comfortable with. Until now.

I liked knowing what the evening would bring. It's my own damn fault for not trying harder to get Ethan to sleep in his crib, but I assure you that as a newborn he would not have anything to do with it. My attempts at both napping and nighttime sleeping in the crib in the early days were so exhausting and scary as a new mom that I was completely turned off the idea of trying again when he got a little older. Reading other parent's accounts of the things they tried to solve their babies' sleep problems terrified me. Being a sort-of-single-mom (away from my husband) for the first months of Ethan's life drained me completely, and once we settled into this bedtime routine I was so grateful to actually get any sleep that I decided to take it any way I could get it. The thought of going back to getting only 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night to try to get him to sleep in his crib was out of the question. Until now.

Thursday morning I laid out a plan for what I would do every night from then on out. I know consistency is key. I know the first few nights are the hardest. Here's what I have been doing: After dinner I give Ethan a nice relaxing bath. Then I nurse him, making sure that he gets plenty to eat. I rock him while I burp him, and then lay him in his crib while he is still awake. I kiss him and tell him to go night-night, touch his face softly and quietly leave the room. Night 1: within 5 minutes he began wailing, but I anticipated that. At first I was going to time it so that I went in to soothe him every 10 minutes that he was crying, but instead we decided to just go by the severity of his cries. I know his tired cry, which could go on forever and it would be alright. Then there's his angry I AM SPITTING FIRE AND MY HEAD IS SPINNING cry. This cry calls for some attention. Whenever it got to this point I'd go in and calm him down to let him know that I was still there and hadn't abandoned him and that everything was ok SO GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP ALREADY. Sometimes I'd pick him up and sometimes I'd just rub or pat his belly and softly whisper to him. Once calm, I'd leave again. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Ethan went down the first night at 7 p.m. He cried off and on until 8:15, and we probably went in to soothe him 4 or 5 times. By 8:30 he was fast asleep. From 8:30 to 10:30 he woke probably 3 times and cried but no one went in because he fell back to sleep on his own within 5 minutes. At 10:30 I went to bed and he cried, so I nursed him because it had been 4 hours since his last feeding. When he was finished I put him back in his crib and he slept from 11 until 3:30 a.m. The only reason he woke up then was because of the wicked-ass thunderstorm we were having that woke everyone up. I nursed him at 3:30 and then let him sleep with me the rest of the night because of that damn storm.

Last night (Night 2) I did the exact same thing. Dinner for me, bath for him, dinner for him, straight to the crib. He cried right when I put him in this time, and I went back to soothe him after 10 minutes. He continued to scream and so my mom went in to soothe him about 10 minutes later. She got him to sleep. By 9:30 he had woken up once more and cried, but again no one went in because he fell back to sleep on his own. When I went to sleep at 10-ish, he cried and I nursed him. He was hungry. I put him back in his crib and he drifted off without a peep. He woke again at 3:15 a.m., I nursed him, then put him back in his crib AND AGAIN he went back to sleep without a fight. He slept until 7 this morning, and then I got him and put him in bed with me and we both slept for another GLORIOUS*GLORIOUS*GLORIOUS hour. This is going soooooooo much better than I had expected. I feel really stupid for not trying this ages ago, but I guess I needed to be ready just as much as him. So, within a few more night's time I expect that he will dramatically cut down on the howling when I put him down. I'll put him in his crib and he'll look at me, roll his eyes and say, Ah fuck it, this isn't worth it, I'm just going to go to sleep now, goodnight mama... and the sky will open and all the angels will sing.