What do you do?

So... what do you do? What is the thing that you wake up for each and every day, the thing that pays your rent and buys you clothes and food and the things you love? What do you DO? And do you LIKE what you do? Do you ENJOY it?

I... do not. Well, it's not a bad job. Not by any means. It pays alright and provides lots of free time for me to pay bills and order stuff off amazon.com and browse ebay. So when I got this job a year ago, I was thrilled. As for any sort of fulfillment, well... it just ain't happening. Am I making a difference in something? Not really. Sure I'm great at what I do, and anyone replacing me would no doubt require lots of training, but once they learned everything they'd be great at it too and there wouldn't be much difference, I don't suppose. I want a job that MATTERS. I want a job where I am valued. I want a job where I am valued AND MY PAY REFLECTS THAT. I want to go home at the end of the day and say 'wow, what a day! I got so much accomplished and made such an impact on the future of our company'. That's what I want. I would, at some point, actually like to look FORWARD to going to the office. Why are you laughing?

See, noone likes working for the man. The MAN being anyone other than yourself. And yes, you ARE working for yourself... to live, eat, shop, go to the movies, have a house, car, etc. etc. But you aren't REALLY. Let me ask you this... do you want to make your boss richer? Is your ultimate goal to make your company super successful when you are probably as disposable as a bathroom paper towel? I think not. So, when we are awarded a job for, say, $11,000.00, and my boss says "ALRIGHT, that's a nice one" and waves it in my face, do I get all excited? Nope. I just force a half smile and silently send him back to his office, where I (silently, again) command him to stay until the end of the day. Stop bothering me! Anyway... it's not helping me any. I'll get paid just the same. It's putting a huge pool in his backyard, not mine. It's paying his $500+ month car payment, not mine!

So I get up each morning. I do my job, and I do it well. But that's about it. I'm disposable and replaceable... and now that I'm pregnant, I feel even more so.