Nucking Futs

I thought Ethan waking up at 5:30 Sunday morning was awful. Last night he woke up at the following times: 10:38, 2:30, 5:00 and 5:45. At 10:38 I went in to feed him, thinking I'd be home free for the night and could possibly get a decent night's sleep to make up for his early waking yesterday morning. At 2:30 I nearly pulled my hair out when he started his angry cry, rather than his usual oh I'm just waking between dreams and I'll get myself back to sleep in a minute so you don't have to get out of bed, mom cry. The angry cry is the one that comes blaring through the baby monitor like bullets from a machine gun. Worse, actually.

Anyway, it was clear that I needed to calm him down so I went into his room and held him, rocked him for a moment and put him back in his crib. Oh, the screaming! The kicking! He was throwing a pre-toddler fit of some sort, and I don't even think he knew what he wanted. He wasn't cold. He wasn't hungry. (Clearly he was doing this to make me miserable.) I went back and got him after a few minutes of this and took him into bed with me and D. He fell asleep immediately.

He's going through some major separation anxiety. I love it and I hate it. It irritates me to no end that I can't simply slip away for an eighth of a second to pee, for crying out loud. But I do love that when he's upset and reaches for me, all I have to do is take him in my arms. He'll rest his little head on my shoulder, and it makes my heart melt. When we were in Texas he'd happily be playing with one of his aunts or uncles, and all I'd have to do was walk through the gosh damn room. He'd spot me, drop whatever he was doing, start whining and quickly make his way over to my feet to be picked up: La la la, playing is so much fun! La la la! Aunt Emily is great! Doo doo doo... (he spots me)... What the hell? YOU! You, woman, hold it right there! Aren't you supposed to be taking care of me? Where have you been? Hmm? I demand that you pick me up immediately and never put me down. EVER.

This gets to be mighty exhausting, but it's normal and I know it will pass. I don't imagine he'd have many friends if by highschool he still drops to his knees and crawls over to me every time he sees me.

Needless to say I am once again sleep deprived today, but I toughed through my cardio workout anyway. If I don't do it first thing, fuggetaboutit. It won't happen. So I'm dusting off my hands now because it's done, outta my way for the day, and I feel much betta. Later I will nap, oh yes.

Ok, so. Has anyone see this show, the Doodle Bops? They horrify me. I've accepted Barney and made peace with the Teletubbies, but I will never welcome the Doodle Bops into my home. That's really just going too far. BUT! This show? Charlie and Lola? Holy hell, this is the cutest children's show I have EVER. SEEN. Nothing brightens my day more than watching Charlie try to convince Lola to eat fish sticks in that cute British accent: "Lola, these aren't fish sticks. They're ocean nibbles straight from the sea...". You really just have to see it, I guess.

Yesterday's Eats

Healthy french toast: 2 slices lo-cal, hi-fiber bread dipped in 3 egg whites and 1 whole egg whisked with cinnamon and topped with 1/4 c. sugar free syrup
coffee with Splenda

Tuna salad: 1 can of water-packed tuna mixed with 1 T. lite mayo, red onion & cabbage
1 small apple

1 lean pocket ultra (these are great in a pinch... made with whole grains and contain 5+ grams of fiber and balanced protein and carbs, great for a snack once in awhile)

1 white cheddar rice cake spread with 2 T. peanut butter

broiled lean turkey patty
the last of my squash soup (mmm!)
steamed broccoli and cauliflower

Total cals: 1,420

Exercise: rest day, took a walk with Ethan in the afternoon