It's About Time

Hello! I am a layer of subcutaneous fat that has found a warm and cozy home around Sara's midsection. You can call me wine-gut! I hope she'll let me stay forever!

Hell to the noooooooooooooo. Not happening. Wednesday, after pouring myself a big glass of Merlot and inhaling exactly half of Ethan's Halloween candy, I had the moment. You know, the moment where you glance down at your flabtastic thighs and can't seem to convince yourself that what you see isn't that bad, it's better than most, there's muscle underneath that jiggle! I even went as far as having my husband take before pictures. As in: the pictures you find so absolutely horrifying that you finally decide it's time to stop guzzling wine like it's water and snarfing chocolate and practically oinking, for crying out loud.

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I've decided it's time to really get in shape and lose those last twenty pounds. I will be 27 (27!!) in three months. This scares me on many levels, and while I know some of you are shaking your (older) fist at me for whining about turning twenty-something, let me remind you that I have issues involving getting older. Something about the number going up each year makes me want to grab my blankie and cling to my mommy for protection. Anyway, the question I finally asked myself is what the shit am I waiting for? Since I couldn't come up with a good answer, I decided that the time to kick ass is now.

I wrote a previous post about how counting calories makes me want to stab myself with a ballpoint pen, and this is true to a certain degree. I also know that I want to be in shape and lose this jiggle sooooo badly, as quickly as I can do it the right way. So, which do I want more? To not count calories and lose weight at a slower pace, or to do a little math and accelerate my mission:fatloss? For now I am willing to do the latter, and if it makes me too crazy I'll ease up and do the old Body For LIFE style of eating. I intend to post my diet on here on the days I blog, which is soooooo super boring but I'm going to do it anyway, because maybe one of my four readers (hi mom!) will find it mildly interesting. No? Ok then. Suck it up and read it anyway. (Thank you!) Or, stab yourself with a ballpoint pen.

When I've done Body For LIFE in the past, the free days are what got me. One day of eating as much as you want of whatever you want can quickly turn a way to satisfy your cravings into an all out binge. This does not work for me. I can undo six days' worth of calorie deficit with breakfast on "free day", no joke. Instead I am going to incorporate two free meals into each week, to use at my discretion.

I am also giving up alcohol. Not forever, but I like it a little too much and I'm positive that it's the reason for my recent 10-ish pound weight gain. I was probably consuming upwards of 400 calories worth of wine each night. Not only that, but when I get tipsy I tend to eat. I wish I could be one of those drunks who drink instead of eating, but it's just the opposite with me. (Of course it is!) So that's an easy calorie cut right there. I'll probably incorporate a few beers or a glass of wine into my free meals later on, but for now I am waving bu-bye to my beloved alcohol. Yesterday was the first day of this healthy lifestyle weight loss thing I'm doing, and it was also the first day in a while that I haven't had a drink. Last night I had a dream involving Danny Bonaduce. Clearly I am going through withdrawl.

The basis for this diet is Body For LIFE: several small meals throughout the day, each combining protein and carbohydrate. The main difference is that BFL doesn't require that you count calories, but doing so means you can eat a wider variety of foods (for example, peanut butter. It's not "allowed" on BFL but I love it so I'm working it in). I need to not feel like my food choices are limited to chicken, broccoli and rice. Or eggwhites and oatmeal.

I like to eat, and I tend to get bored easily. I have a love-hate relationship with the food monotony that tends to come with healthier eating habits. On one hand it's easy when you eat the same things day in and day out, but then you get to that point where you want to chuck your container of cottage cheese through the kitchen window and then maybe slit your wrists with the broken glass. I will not be forcing myself to eat anything I don't enjoy, and I am making it a rule to try one new recipe each week for dinner. I also know that unprocessed foods are much better for your body, but damn. I'm not at all against popping a frozen South Beach pizza in the microwave for convenience and variety's sake.

Exercise: two days of weight training and three days of cardio each week, period. Plain and simple. This is something I can keep up when I go back to work next year, so I'm thinking in terms of the long haul.

I am blogging about this mainly because that time will come when I'll think oh, man! Everyone else is eating cheetos! Waaaa! (Eating right is made much more difficult when you've got a husband who lives off of french fries, ranch dressing and Bud Light.) But I will stick with this, and posting about it makes me somewhat accountable. I want to be that girl who made the awesome transformation, not the girl who lost five pounds and then fell off the face of the planet into a tub of Crisco. I'll take pictures every 4 weeks, and I'll post my before photos and my progress pics on here. On the Internet. I have LOST. MY. MIND.

Yesterday's food:

1 South Beach wrap
coffee with 2 packets of splenda and 1/4 c. 1% milk

Egg salad wrap: 1 whole egg, 2 eggwhites, red onion, 1 T. lite mayo and mustard, all piled on romaine lettuce and rolled in a lo-carb whole wheat wrap (really tasty!)

1 Lean Pocket Ultra

1 white cheddar rice cake spread with 2 T. chunky peanut butter
black coffee with 2 packets splenda

broiled lean turkey patty, 1 serving homemade squash & sweet potato soup and steamed broccoli

Total calories: 1,395

Exercise: 30 minutes of step aerobics