All in the Family

Ethan and I arrived at my mom's house in Texas at around 4 p.m. Monday afternoon. The ride here was awesome. Ethan was amazing. He slept for nearly 2 hours when we left Louisiana, so we were able to drive straight through to Shreveport without stopping, which is basically the half-way point. After stopping at a Taco Bell and sharing a most healthful lunch of steak & cheese quesadilla and an order of pinto beans with cheese, we were on our way once again. Ethan only fussed for .2 seconds at his usual afternoon nap time, and at his first whimper I turned around and told him to go to sleep. AND. HE. DID. I swear it. He was all okay, fine, whatthefuckever. G'night. I couldn't believe it. I totally polished his halo when we got to my mom's house and hung it high above his head, for he is truly an angel sent from the heavens above.

ANYWAY! We made it, horray, and let me tell you how much I love my family. How much I missed my family. They are the most awesome family a girl could ever have, want or ask for. It almost sucks to come and visit because it just means I'll have to leave them all over again. Which totally blows fat donkey nuts, unless you're into that sort of thing.

Mom: A 56-year old wonder woman. Funny, gorgeous, energetic, did I mention funny? The woman had 6 kids, and since she swears she did no drugs while raising us I am convinced that she was able to hold on to what sanity she has left by seeing the humor in everything. She's passed the ability to laugh at life down to all of us and for that I am so very grateful. It makes family get-togethers especially fun, tenfold when there's alcohol involved. (Which is, um, always.) My mom is my best friend and I can talk to her about anything. She was a very protective mother, the kind that wouldn't let you leave without telling you to wear your seatbelt, call when you get there, say no to drugs and be home by eleven! I only learned to appreciate this kind of concern after the fact. I've confessed everything to my mom, all the lies I ever told her and all the times I stole their alcohol and all the drugs I've done. She's always been there for me, always welcomed me back from my rebellion with open arms.

Carolyn: Second in birth order, my first little sis. She's funky, outgoing, outspoken and a little crazy, but in a good way. She's in Paul Mitchell hair school now and has some insane gift from God with those sharp little scissors. She's also engaged to one of the greatest men in the world. Things are moving along in her direction, she's working so hard right now and I am just unbelievably proud of her. Talking to her is sort of like inhaling the gas from a new can of Reddi-Whip. She is fun, energetic, hilarious and hangs with the boys when she drinks. We've been through soooo much. She's one of my very best friends, and I always look forward to our time together.

Emily: While Carolyn and I did drugs, lied to my parents and hung with the wrong crowd, Emily was busy solving mathematic equations and basically making the rest of us feel stoooopid. I know not where she got her love of math, but it's pretty cool to have such a brilliant little sis. Her home library consists of books that I can barely stand to read the titles of, and I once made the mistake of asking her to suggest some leisurely summer reading material. After my eyes stopped bleeding, I grimly tossed the books back onto her bed and told her that they "weren't my style". Anyway, she too is funny as hell, easy to talk to, has fantastic taste in music and movies and is another one of my very best friends in the whole world. I can count on her to make my brain hurt and that's awesome.

Bonnie: Next in line, the baby girl of the family. She's 18 and one of the sweetest, most soft-spoken people I have ever met. I try not to let her quietness fool me, because there's a ton going on in that cute little head of hers. She has a steady boyfriend, maybe the first that she reeeeeaaaaaally likes, and I am so psyched for her. She graduated from highschool last year and is taking a few college classes, easing into the whole college scene. She likes yoga, snakes and bellydancing, and her diet consists mainly of fettucine alfredo and cheese pizza. She's one of those hot chicks that don't know their own beauty. Read: every guy's dream. She's a blast to talk to, kind and funny, and also one of my very bestest friends.

The twins: Nowell and Robin. The boys. Don't ask what my mom was thinking when she named them. I have no clue. They are 15 and too funny for their own good, but you'd never know it because they are so freaking quiet. They take turns sitting in their room playing games on the computer. They rarely ever leave the house except to go to school. I tell my mom that they are what she got to balance out me and Carolyn; we were horrible, lying, troubled youth. The most these guys ask is that the fridge be stocked with soda and maybe that they occasionally get to go to the local video game shop to pick up the latest computer game. They also enjoy the Simpsons, Family Guy and pepperoni Hot Pockets. They are awesome little brothers and I always always always look forward to seeing them.

So that's my family. My dad died in 2001 of a brain tumor, and my mom has done a FUCKING spectacular job of doing double-duty parenting ever since. My family rarely fights, talks openly about almost everything, gets together on a very regular basis and always manages to laugh at life's many pains in the ASS. I am one lucky girl.