Add THIS to your resume...

I am able to work out in the morning only because I put Ethan in his exersaucer, where he watches me do step-aerobics or lift weights in our tiny living room and totally makes fun of me in his head. Sometimes he even laughs out loud.

I make breakfast on the fly most days by dumping yogurt, granola and honey into a bowl while Ethan crawls from his toys in the living room into the kitchen to paw at my leg and suck on my foot, wanting to be picked up or maybe because he wants some granola, too.

I make phone calls and pay bills while jiggling Ethan on my lap and letting him suck on the t.v. remote or my liter water bottle.

I am able to shower only while Ethan is napping. If it's an "off" day I'll wrap my rat's nest into a bun on the top of my head, wash my face, brush my teeth and roll on an extra layer on deodorant. You're welcome.

I have learned to pee in the time that it takes Ethan to drag himself from the rug in the center of our master bedroom to the doorway of the connecting bathroom. By the time he raises his hand to knock over the bathroom trashcan, I am finished and can scoop him up and whisk him away. Most of the time, anyway.

I have learned that desperate times call for desperate measures. In cases of FUSSY emergency: dance like you're dodging bullets while singing "why are you so fussy? why are you so fussy?" over and over. It always makes him giggle. Or, an off-key and overly animated rendition of "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes" always buys a few minutes of smiles.

I also pride myself on being able to do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE with one hand. And? Am quite proud of my "mommy muscles". Sure, they're covered by a layer of fat, but they're there! I swear!