1.06.2007

Withdrawl!

Thursday it rained in our part of Louisiana so badly that our entire front and side yard was flooded with like 15 feet of water. Ok, maybe not 15 feet, but enough to where I had to practically swim to the car if I wanted to leave. And, I didn't want to leave, but I had to. For Ethan's appointment. For the shots. (dum Dum DUM!)

Because Ethan was a first-time patient of this particular doctor, and because I am very considerate of others and continue to ignore the fact that there is no doctor's office in existence that actually runs on schedule, appointment times are just a rough estimate give or take three fucking hours, they're all really in the back room watching soap operas but want you to think they're understaffed and overworked, and because I simply love waiting in a toyless waiting room all afternoon with a squirmy 1-year old boy... I arrived at the appointment 30 minutes early. I swear, dearest Internet, that from this day forward I will arrive no less than 5 minutes early for any and all future doctor appointments. THAT is a New Year's resolution I'll keep.

Anyway, Ethan weighs 19 pounds. 19 pounds! And the nurse showed me that he's healthy and proportioned and wonderful, which duh, but at least now I know he's not really a runt or a midget (no offense, little people). He's just... small. And because Erin is toting around a 28-pound toddlet the same age as Ethan and complains of daily back and arm pain, I'm choosing to be thankful for Ethan's size and see the bright side. (Erin must have some kick ass mommy muscles, though!) Of course, then there's Drew: "Gah! Ninth percentile!? He'll NEVER be able to play football at this rate!", and that's when I squawk "Maybe he'll be a dancer" and Drew falls over and dies. (Ethan, if you do become a dancer I will totally support you and I will learn how to sew snazzy, brightly colored unitards for you and your 'partner'.)

After they weighed him and gave him a physical the nurse noticed that Ethan's tummy was a little mottled (from me holding and undressing him). She freaked out and insisted that he had some sort of rash, scurried off to find another nurse and by the time they came back it had faded away because HELLO, little miss NURSEY POO, I am his mother and I TOLD YOU that he has sensitive skin. (I suppose I appreciate her concern, and maybe she really thought I'd been spending my free time using Ethan as a whipping boy or something, but we totally wasted precious pre-shot time examining the non-existent marks on his soft round belly and my patience was wearing thinner than Nicole Richie's legs.) (Tacky, I know, but as an ex-anorexic I can totally poke fun at other anorexics, right? No? Oh. Alrighty then.) Ahem. So then came the finger prick, and Ethan did not even flinch. I knew this meant that the shots would be especially brutal. I'm trying to be more optimistic lately, but let's be real: you can't expect a kid to sit through a finger prick AND shots without blinking. For the shots they made me hold him. This was my worst nightmare. Clearly Ethan could see that I was not the one inflicting this horrible pain in his thigh, but I was allowing it to happen just the same. He looked right into my eyes and S.C.R.E.A.M.E.D. Oh, the tears! The bright red face! It was awful. And then it was over. And he moved on and got over it and was perfectly normal the rest of the day. A miracle, in other words.

I came home to find the Internet NOT WORKING. Another one of my very worst nightmares. (Have I really become such a mouse potato that the Internet not working is one of my very worst nightmares? Yes, yes I have, let's be honest, I'm a stay-at-home-mom.) I ASSumed it was because of the storm and waited it out. When I look back on the last 2 days I see myself sitting at the kitchen table, biting my fingernails down to the quick, staring intensely at our modem. Come on, little light, gimme a flash! Come oooooon! I know you want to connect, you're doing this to torture me, plain and simple. Fuuuuuuuck yoooooooooooooou! I finally called our internet provider, who told me that nope, no outage in your area! Have you tried unhooking the coaxial cable and turning off the computer and doing a little jig that involves clicking your heels three times? Yes, Yes, Yes I have. I sang to my modem, promised it the world, licked it in all the right spots and even let it watch me shower. NOTHING. Today Ethan and I went on a very long walk, and when we got back the Internet was mysteriously working again. THERE CLEARLY IS A GOD.

Last night I did the Back, Biceps & Abs workout and I am sooooooooore today. It feels great. I love Cathe's Pure Strength series and can't wait to do it all over again next week. Tonight we are watching The Cowboys playoffs game and eating pizza and drinking wine (D is drinking beer, of course). (We are getting one large 1/2 veggie lovers, 1/2 meat lovers pizza. Truly the yin yang of pizzas.) It's a much needed treat after a week of near perfect food and exercise perfection. I hope you all enjoy your weekend as much! Cheers!

2 Comments:

At 5:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! Yes, I have my very own baby Goliath. I used to lift weights before I had Cal, but since he was born I have lifted a sum total of ZERO times. I definitely use him as an excuse...

Glad your shots were quick! Now we get a whole 3 months before more injections of potentially deadly diseases.

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger cary said...

i am SO glad that you didn't say ying yang. it would have been mortifying to all who know you! love you!

 

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